Pinas

dark skin on pink pebbled beaches, sweating
furious, dancing fingers around the cockfighting ring
My father’s broad shoulders plowing the dirt fields.
diamond cutter precision driving, jams, taxi!
open palms, dirty nails, calloused feet
papaya soap, cover songs- stockholm syndrome
sewer, spit, tragedy of the commons
Sister, come home, it’s late.
fists in the air, misguided complaints, our inaction
Behind the single buco tree in the whole mango plantation,
I see my grandmother waving to me, sweating.

….
outsourcing? Sprint fired a cousin in san diego and hired another in manila.

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a blowjob for ten bucks. no toilet paper anywhere. the persistent fear of being kidnapped. talentless, beautiful celebrities. wealth is relative.
....
"not to be a downer, but you might have A.I.D.S."
....
my mother was once 22 years old, and my now dead grandmother was once my mother’s age. sometimes, i watch my life passing by too quickly and want to cry- but instead I stay in bed and refuse to get up. fuck you, you can’t make me do anything.

i watch my friends moving away, i see my cousin in the same place i was not too long ago and I realize, the people around me frame my existence. they are my change-markers. through them, I can piece together my life. not just the highlights that my memory selects, but all of it- the quiet heartaches, jokes, the color of my dad’s old celica.
….

then: a girl whose primary form of birth control is prayer (in theory)
now: im not afraid of being hugged, i fucking hate the idea of being let go.
....
wheel of fortune, price is right, family feud- eureka! more ways to prolong getting a job.